Make Selflove your thing – for the sake of your healing
I was never the biggest fan of myself. But after having tinnitus I just started hating my body and my mind. I hated it for doing this for me, for punishing me with this hellish disease.
It took me along time to realise that every day hating me made my condition worse. It made it less and less possible to feel better. Through my negativity I reached a worse and worse mental state. So finally I got it – I had to make selflove my thing.
I had to make it my thing in order to finally feel better again and to be able to live with tinnitus. Everything you think affects you, it becomes part of you and it will form your life.
I have been working on that for a long time now. I used affirmations, I have tried to focus on the postive things in my life and on my opporturnities. There are so many things I have tried to do to, to improve my situation.
On that journey brought me on paths I would have never taken before. One of those paths was going on a Self-Love-Day.
The organisation Meditation Retreat Peru offered one day dedicated to just selflove. I was super excited to go, but didn´t know what to expect. What could one day change?
Firstly the place was super peaceful and just by being there I felt already calmer. It was a beautiful house in the countryside of Peru, offering a wonderful landscape.
As they usually do meditation retreats we started with a meditation. I loved how they did it, it was a guided meditation but it didn´t stire the thoughts too much. A lot of guided meditations tell you from the beginning to the end where your mind should go. Of course the topic there was selflove, but they just asked a few questions and left it to us to see what comes up. So their questions stirred our focus, but gave enough time to think about it.
Afterwards we did some mindful yoga to open our hip and hearts – the home of our emotions. During savasana a gitarre was playing, it helped to reach a really deep state. It felt so good and I felt a deep inner happiness already. This reminded me how important it is for me to regularily practice meditation and yoga. It is esencial for me to feel good and to find my inner balance.
After a delicious breakfast we talked about some rules or recommendations for the day. The day is basically about yourself and no one else, so it is about commiting to oneself making it unnecessary to talk to others. This day was about going deep – to be inside oneself and give onself all the love.
The leaders of the event assigned us different writing exercises, the first one was about writing a list what self-love is for us.
My list looked like this:
- Self-love is about giving yourself the same self-compassion as you give others.
- Accepting yourself without judging yourself and taking yourself just as you are in the situation right now as well as acknowledging the ability to change.
- Freeing myself from old and limiting behavior that no longer serves me. Setting up new patterns, behaviors full of love and being in the present moment.
- Giving myself the space I need and allowing myself to make mistakes.
- Being one with my true inner self with a deep connection to my essence.
- Seeing myself as the queen of my life, with my ow rules as well as limits and not allowing others to push or cross my boundaries.
- Treat my body as a temple.
Others said for example:
- Find my balance
- Surrender to my karma and take action
- Acknowledge my self-worth
- Acknowledging my own and the perfection of others
- Relate to my ego in a different way – adopt a healthy ego
- Care less about how I´m percived
- Listen to my inner voice
- Avoid toxic situations and to get out of them when in them
- Not being a peoplepleaser
- To learn from every experience
- Learn to love my weaknesses
- Have concern for myself
- Commit to authetity
- Seek my inner light
- Accepting and loving my inner child
- Allow every emotion to come and to experience it
What is your list? What does self-love mean to you?
Are you realising those things? If not, it is time to start working on your goals. Write your own list and make it your principles of your life!
We meditated a few times throughout the day and every meditation was unique, but inspirational and brought me deeper to my inner self.
The next writing assignement was to write down the things we love about yourselves or the situations we love ourselves in as well as a list about things where we have the potential to grow or rather behaviors we don´t love about ourselves.
As you can imagine the list about things I don´t love about myself was a lot longer than the other one. It was already an eyeopener, but we then got assigned a partner to talk about your lists. The task was to share our list, but not to react to what the other person was saying. I mean we could react, but not relate the experience of the other person to our own experiences. It seemed just like something we were trained to do when I studied social work.
It was a wonderful experience to talk with someone about it and I felt like I wasn´t alone with my self-doubt.
Another writing exercise was to write down things we wanted to let go of and affirmations – so things we want to happen or rather come true.
I wrote down:
I AM LETTING GO OFF
- Fear of failure
- Fear of judgement
- Imagined limitations
- Fear in general
- The past
- Focus on the outside and perseption of others
- At peace and calm
We didn´t just share our list this time. We had to choose one thing we wanted to let go of and one affirmation. One after another we had to go in the middle of the room and then say it out loud, the others had to decide if they believed us or not. We had to say it as many times until they said that it seemd true, like we meaned it.
It was an amazing experience, in the end we all screamed and the others cheered us on. It was an extraordinary feeling, like it was not just something I was telling myself but it was something that was true.
So start saying it out loud – sream it at the top of your lungs!
Up until now the day had already been perfect, I felt great and I had the feeling of loving myself already more and being more clear on everything.
The last experience toped it off – it filled my heart!
We all had to leave the room for little while they prepared the room. As we got in they had created a little alley, we had to stand side by side on both sides of that alley. One by one we walked on that alley with our eyes covered. While we walked down those few steps . . . the others had to touch us. Our hands, arms, belly, back, legs, feet, neck and so on. At first I thought that it wasn´t for me and that I would not do it. Trying to be open-minded I then decided to go for it. What can I say – it mayde me cry. Feeling so loved and held, it made me feel like I´m so worthy and on of the most important people of the whole world. It felt also good to just give and touch someone else. It was not like a weird moment, it was more like petting someone lovingly. At the end of the path was a person giving you a long and strong hug and then whenever you were ready taking off the blindfold.
It was an amazing experience! Even though I can not say it changed my life, it actually felt transformational! It was a thought-provoking experience, which helped me see how importnt self-love is and how good it feels to have a heart full of love.
Now I just have to use those insights during my daily life – this is my next challange!