Self-Talk And Selflove As Healing Power
When I first got my tinnitus I got really depressed. I made it even worse by bringing myself down.
Telling myself that I and my body were stupid. I hated my body. I hated my life. I hated everything. There was just pure hate. For everything. I was so mad at my body and at my mind.
Hate became a big part of my life. Not just towards myself. No, also towards others. My life became dark and hateful. Which brought me down more and more.
I don´t think there was a day I didn´t cry and wish to die.
In my mind I told myself over and over again how much I hated myself and how much I despised my guts. Before I loved everyone and thought good of everybody, now I didn´t anymore. I just couldn´t stand being around others anymore. I didn´t like people I didn´t even know and that from the first minute on I met them.
But how could you heal or accept a current state when you hate your body. When you hate your life?!
You need to work with your body and mind together! You are one person in one body and everything affects each other. So negative thoughts won´t lead to positive results.
So, you are looking for healing, a cure or relief . . . then you need to start with your thoughts. Start loving yourself and where you are right now in your process.
It wasn´t easy for me. I didn´t just wake up one day and think differently.
It took me a great deal of time to realise that a big part of my problem was me. Slowly but surely I wanted to find a way out, I was tired of living that way. I wanted to do more again than feel sorry for myself and hate the whole world. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to live again.
I started looking for answers or rather some ways to get my life back and soon I discovered that the holistic medicine talks about including everything in healing and that healing is easier when being positive.
Then I realized finally how negative I had become. That I saw nothing in a positive light anymore and eventually I realized the hatred that had grown inside me.
And more than you hear other people talking or more than you talk to other people, you hear yourself. You think constantly and constantly you are talking to yourself. Those thoughts are very important as they incluence your whole life!
But how to become more positive again?
The mind believes everything you tell it, everything you give it as your truth it accepts as true. Just tell yourself the same thing over and over again and you will believe it. It will become your truth.
So I started with mirror work and positive affirmations to feel better about myself again.
I used different positive affirmations in order to change my thinking. The ones that spoke most to me, were the ones by Lousie Hay.
An affirmation opens the door. It’s a beginning point on the path to change. In essence, you’re saying to your subconscious mind: “I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I can do to change.” When I talk about doing affirmations, I mean consciously choosing words that will either help eliminate something from your life or help create something new in your life. Louise Hay
In the begining I wrote a few affirmations down and read them to myself in the morning. Then I got a few audios and now I listen to them when I´m on the bus or when ever I have time or feel like it.
Affirmations really work. Telling yourself things over and over again makes it true for you, but only if you don´t think the exact opposite the rest of the time.
So, observe yout thoughts. What are you thinking most of the time? Are the thoughts productive or distructive? Are they bringing you down and are the mostly negative?
Firstly, don´t get affraid of how negative your thinkning might be. And try to substitude your negative thoughts with positive ones.
If you do all that, you´ll see that your thinking will become more positive. If your thinking becomes more positive it will be easier for you to talk to yourself generally more positive.
You won´t feel punished by life anymore and you won´t feel as much disgust and hate towards your illness anymore NOR towards yourself.
Things in life will seem like they are more positive again and everything will feel lighter.
“In each case the better a patient’s expectations about how they would do after surgery or some health procedure, the better they did,” said author Donald Cole, of the Institute for Work and Health in Toronto.
For me it was easier to use already excisting affirmations in the beginning, for every topic there are already affirmations. Repeating them over and over again makes it true for your mind and it will become true for your life. After a while I wrote my own affirmations what I wanted to believe, what I wanted to be true for my life. So I used specific situations I wanted come true for myself and wrote them down.
I think the first change I started to notice after using the affirmations for about one month. After that time I had more positive thoughts of my own, not as many negative thoughts came up non-stop. And it became easier and easier to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
If you think you are not one for affirmations – read here how I got started; https://thetinnituslife.com/2017/09/22/you-can-influence-your-tinnitus-with-your-mind/
Now what else is missing for your healing journey?
Once you are more positive again, it will be a lot easier to love yourself again. But every single negative thought about yourself and about your body influnces you.
For that mirror work is the perfect way.
And it is not that I´m totally in love with myself . . . I had to drag myself in fron of the mirror and tell myself that I love myself, that I´m great. And that did not come out naturally. I had to force it. Now it is easier and over time it is almost true every day.
Mirror work has to do with looking at yourself. Being able to stand to look at yourself without critizising yourself and without looking at your flaws. Just looking at yourself and seeing good things. Being ok with yourself and loving yourself.
I for one did not. And sometimes still don´t. But the same as with the affirmations, what you tell yourself becomes true for you.
So stand in front of the mirror and just tell yourself what you love about yourself and about your body. Over and over again. It does not have to be the truth at that moment, but it will be later on. The more you look in the mirror telling yourself how great you are and how much you love yourself. The more you will love yourself.
Try everytime when you walk by a mirror to tell yourself that you love yourself.
And also hug yourself to give yourself some love. So that you can feel your love for youself. That way you can appreciate yourself for what you are doing and for how strong you are living with a chronic disease.
And you will see, with every pasing you day you will feel better about yourself and hardly talk to yourself in a bad way.
Mirror work was especially hard for me, I couldn´t stand to look at myself in the mirror at first. Or when I did, I just thought about how I didn´t like my thin hair and that my whole face was covered with blackheads . . . that my belly had a little bump and my butt was not as tight anymore….and so on…you the the picture. I looked at myself and all I saw was what I didn´t like about myself of every part of my body. In the beginning I only sat down for a very short period of time in front of the mirror, I only told myself that I loved myself and basically ran from the mirror. I still wondered who could love someone like me. Not me. Even my body was against me. That is how I felt, until I realised that my body was only against me because I was against myself. It was me, I was the creator behind this self sabotaging behavior. After this revalation I worked on different body parts. I tried to look myself in the eye and to tell myself that I loved my hair, that I loved my skin and so on. I talked about every bodypart, and not just once. No it took a long time. I had to do it over and over again. And I still do it. And not every day is the same. Some days are easy, I tell myself that I love myself and each part of my body but others I can´t even bring myself to say it in front of the mirror.
Telling yourself that you love yourself and certain parts of your body doesn´t mean that you accept everything. You accept the present moment and you accept yourself, but you still can change it. Like me, I am not happy with how certain areas of my body look. I can accept the now, but I work on them by doing sports. Loving yourself and accepting yourself doesn´t mean that you can´t change.
Now the ground work is set to heal. A positive mind will help you to believe in change and believe in curing yourself. Your whole body will feel the change and react.
You will already feel better and life will feel differntly. You will have different experiences and attract differnt people.
I haven´t felt depressed in a long time, as I am ok with myself and life feels good. Even if I´m having a bad day, it doesn´t affect me as much. And most importantly even if my tinnitus is really bad, this different mindset has helped me to deal with my ear ringing. I don´t get affected by it as much anymore. I would have never thought that being positiver and more loving would be able to help me to cope. I´m far from complete habituation, but I have to say that life like this is a lot easier and also more fun to live!
Get ready for a big change.
“You can’t blame people for their diseases,” ABCNEWS’ Medical Correspondent Dr. Nancy Snyderman says. “But how you go through your life with the grit and determination to make it through, that you do have control over and that makes a difference.”
As you see believing in yourself, loving yourself and talking to yourself in a positive way a important point of your healing journey. Work with your body and not against it. For this has changed everything. Not only am I enjoying life more again, because I see positive things again. I can find something positive in every situation. I have overcome that hatred that was intoxicating my whole body, my way of thinking and my whole life. And for a first time in a long time I believe again that I can heal. And as you see in the quote above, believing in being able to heal affects the actual process.
My tinnitus is not cured yet and I think it will still take a while. I´m not saying positive thinking and selflove can cure, but it makes healing possible. So start beliving!
Read more here about Positive Thinking, Faster Recovery here: https://thetinnituslife.com/2017/09/22/you-can-influence-your-tinnitus-with-your-mind/
Read more about Louise Hay here: https://www.louisehay.com/the-power-of-affirmations/