inner peace for ear ringing
I don´t know how many times people have told you bringing inner peace into your life will change your life and most importantly will help you with your tinnitus?
I have never been one for meditating.
Also everytime I somehow took part in a dream journey session I fell asleep. When I did yoga with one of the yoga videos on youtube, I usually finished up early and didn´t include the meditating part.
More and more people suggested meditating as a life changer and as a way to find peace with myself and also with my life. That is exactly what I am looking for, isn´t it?
So as I was in Germany I bought a few CD´s with guided mediations on it. I just can´t imagine just to sit there and have nothing….I mean what do I think about? Then people say about nothing?!
Think about nothing
Ok, it might be possible for some people to have a total clear mind and I am guessing they are more experienced in this whole letting go, going with the flow and meditation brings enlightment attitude.
They have clearly never been in my mind. As I am watching Gilmore Girls a lot, Lorelai Gilmore says once about her mind: „Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. I´m writing a letter, I can´t write a letter, why can´t I write a letter? I´m wearing a green dress, I wish I was wearing my blue dress, my blue dress is at the cleaner´s. The Germans wore grey, you wore blue, Casablanca is such a good movie. Casablanca, the White House, Bush. Why don´t I drive a hybrid car? I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle unitard. Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants.“
And I feel like it would be exactly the same with me…or I know when I tried to just lay down and „meditate“….it seemd just like that episode for my favorite series. It was just a bunch of weird thoughts comming up.
Observe your thoughts
I read that you are supposed to observe your thoughts when meditating, not diving into your thought process but observing what thoughts are comming up and letting them go. To see where your mind takes you, not judging it.
Not judging? How is that even possible? Observing my breath?
Breath in …breath out…and then it starts like again. My thoughts cross over and just go wild and asking myself why I think that and so on. That is not making me calmer, which is supposed to be one of the purposes of meditation.
A lot of times I ended up super angry. Angry because of I thought of things that anoyed me and kept thinking about them. Thinking why do I allow that to happen to me, why don´t I react differently and so on. At the end I was ready to slap everybody crossing my path.
Experiencing mediation not as centering as I was told it would be, I decided not to let my mind flow. Letting your mind flow and go where it wants to and just observing must be for advanced and experienced mediators or for people with more dicipline or I am not sure for whom.
So, I have this one CD from Louise Hay.
It is really relaxing and it helps me to meditate for real and just seeing my thoughts slipping into my usual cicle of thougts. It reminded me a little of a dream journey I did as a kid, but the good thing is it includes body relaxation and then takes you to a happy place and when I finish I feel free and relaxed.
For once, I could break my thinking cicle and I don´t really hear my tinnitus that much when I do it.
You can just go on Youtube and download some mediations audios.