Drawing as Tinnitus relief

I have always liked drawing.

But when I draw it is usually quiet and then after a while the tinnitus just gets too disturbing that I give up or get really, but really mad so that I want to throw my pencils agains the wall and destroy everything that is close enough to reach. It brings out such a frustration in me….

So I haven´t been drawing recently.

I really want to take it up again, I thought that with music it might be a good idea. Even though music distracted me in the past. But I have been wanting to give it a try. Have been wanting to…hahahaha….well, since when? I guess 3 years now. So I wonder if I still CAN draw?!

This desire is sitting up there in my head but hasn´t brought any action into my body yet. When I think I could draw…I all I do is think of a million of excuses and then end up in bed, resting and watching a movie to avaid the noise in my ear.

Coloring

This Christmas I was in Germany and my sister gave an adult coloring book as my Christmas present.

I have been looking at those, but then thought many times that I am not a child and just filling white blanks with color is not satisfying to me anymore as I have been drawing potraits before.

Of course I have read about these adult coloringbooks, that it is a great way to relax and to use it as a way to calm down and disconnect. I have looked at many books before, reminding me of the Mandalas that I used to color when I was a child.

Didn´t I love that? Yes, I did!

I don´t know why I never bought one myself, I guess I had just this condescending thought about not beeing a child anymore.

So now having it I have been filling in a few of those designes in the coloring book. And I have to say that I was really surprised, I stoped thinking so much. I had music on I have to say, but I seemed to forget my music and was just preocuped not coloring over the line and making it beautiful. No other worries or thoughts…which was for me, someone who  thinks all the time and who worries all the time,  a real relief. Also I felt like  a child again,  happy to color and nothing more. Love it!

Now of course some time has passed and I haven´t been coloring in a while, so the question is. Is it best to make a plan, but is it still as relaxing if there is a plan? Or should it become a routine?

I have no idea yet, but this week for sure I will color again! The plan is for tomorrow! I hope it works out!

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